Fought with my boyfriend this morning and now I'm crying and a mess and it took everything I had to not cut myself in the shower (even if I did bring my razor into my room with me).

I hate myself. I hate that I'm so fucking sensitive. I hate that I can't express to him my emotions without him feeling like a fuck up... that makes me a fuck up, right?

I don't understand how he can bear the thought of breaking up with me, even when he is that upset... "have a nice life"... he says... like he's done with me and it's that easy.

I wish I could die.

We talked about things... but I still just feel... like I'm nothing.

I'm tired of fighting for everything I want in life.

I'm tired of fighting just to live.
I'm tired of worrying about food, clothes, rent, books, whether or not I'm going to have enough ink to print my homework or whether I can scrounge up the money I need for my scantrons for my midterms...

I know I'm depressed all the time but can't he fucking see that life is really shitty for me right now?

My only safe place to fall doesn't feel very safe today.