Pointless~

I get worried that one day no one will want to hear my story. No one will care about how I feel. I write so much... because I feel so much. Being trapped, here in my head, is dizzying. I feel like an animal. I'm learning to cope and change with my surroundings. But underneath I'm still just an ape. I watch you. I do what you do. It makes you happy. When you're happy it's easier to believe that I am happy too.

Tell me how much you want me and how sorry you are it's at in inconvenient time. Tell me you love me when I ask you to touch me. Worry about the things that I swear to you are fine. Ignore the raging ravine that's forming right in front of us.

I wish I could call you my best friend.

I see how hard you try. I see how everyday is a fight for you as well. I'm sorry I can't be more help. I'm sorry you're stuck with me for now. For now.

These words. All these unspoken words. They seem pointless. And I'm scared. I'm scared they'll drift away and I'll become nothing. Because this is all I have. This is my concrete. This is my home. This is my family.

I will do my best for you. I will try to make you happy. And I'll wait. Because that's what I'm good at.