If I could silence the voices in my head long enough I might be able to focus. The ones that tell me he doesn't love me. The ones that tell me I'm worthless. The ones that remind me of my failures. How do other people ignore them? Or do other people even have them?
Still, small, quiet voices that rape my thoughts in the middle of the night. Their tiny hands grip my heart and squeeze until it feels as though it's going to burst in my chest.
I was taught that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Can hope and faith be depleted? It feels like it's been robbed from my soul. I want so much to trust and believe like I did not so long ago... But people... People aren't as kind as I'd hope them to be when I place my heart in their hands.
Now barricaded behind walls of doubt my heart waits patiently for one worthy enough to rescue her from her tower of fear. Smile and wave from your balcony dear. Ready your makeup and mask for the public. Convince yourself that everything is ok for now. No need to fret until the last man we will ever love is standing in our doorway. Just wait. Sleep for now.
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