Vicious circles.

You were my shoulder to lean on for so long. You said you'd always be there. And you're not now. You said it hurt you that I lied. Given the way you reacted, can you blame me for being hesitant? I realize you wanted me to be open and honest with every aspect of my life... But you see what happens when I open up? You see what happens? People leave me. You left me. You betrayed me. After all those promises. After everything I shared with you... Only to be outed and banished. That hurts more than you'll ever understand. The pain my heart feels... I believed you.

Maybe it's my fault for being naive. I tend to believe others easily. Maybe it's all my fault. All the pain, all the betrayals... Maybe I should close myself off.

*sigh*

I need the interactions. I need the approval. I need the touch of others. And because I need I hate myself.

Vicious cycles. Neverending circles of mistrust and hurt and abuse. I need someone to keep me safe from the rest. So I'll wait for someone that will hold true to their words. How long will I wait? Will I destroy myself before you've reached me? Am I already too far gone?